I'm so glad that the holidays are over.

I hate the holidays. I hate them with all I am. If the Beatles and Christmas were one entity, I would cause an apocalypse of some sort. But, they're not, so you're all still alive.

This was the first Christmas that I haven't been at my parents house for. This may also be the Christmas that I despise the least. No big fancy production, no eight hours putting lights on a stupid tree, followed by another two hours of re-arranging ornaments, because they're not symmetric on the front and back(which is in a corner) of the tree. No stupid family dinners that make a ten year old want to drown his Christmas in another bottle of something at least 10 years old.

This year we went to Amanda's mom's house. Three hours away from anyone overly bothersome. And we were able to relax. We played Mario Kart and Super Mario, drank eggnog, ate Chinese food, and lots of candy, and watched stupid MTV show marathons. Not too bad. Only con, Amanda's mom got me a Journey t-shirt. At least she'll wear it.

So now, everyone can get back on with their lives, and I can start taking the Christmas decorations at work down, and not need to mix my booze with eggnog to make it seasonally acceptable.

Whiskey and ice, daddy is home.

Because, other people aren't able to.

It seems that I may have not gotten the full list of things that I need to do when I got this job. I am not at all complaining, however, I've gotten into a l0t of stuff that I have never worked with before. For example, In one day, I had to work on a little electric, re-route some drainage lines, build a portion of a website, hang from a ceiling and repositioning ellipsoidals with a broom stick (Because the trusses are 10 feet apart, and the only ladder we have to get up there is an extension ladder, and I don't have a 10 foot wingspan) I suppose changing gels like that could be more dangerous....

Also, in the same day, I did my personal assistant duties, and got coffee, and finally, did some work on the patch bay, because the moron that put it in before, couldn't manage to figure out how to use a punch down tool. Only one of these tasks, is actually in my job description. Not a big deal, if it's every once in awhile, but there is something interesting around the corner.

Recently, because Christmas is upcoming, and I work at a church, there was a musical in the near future, I had a decent amount of stage work in front of me. Set building was no problem, running tracks and setting up a clear com system, not a big deal, Flying props, ok. Re-designing an entire lighting install, design a show, and set cues for the person that will be running it during the actual production.

I want to be very honest when I say, I do not belong behind a light board. I can turn them on. I can make the smart lights spin and change colors, I can install them, and I can change gels. That's about it. I've gotten a crash course a couple times, but am in no way prepared to make this thing "sing".

I found out this afternoon, that I will be assuming control of the theatrical lighting department.

That's great.

I may as well be taking charge of a R&D team for a new flavor of Doritos. I have as much experience. I mean I like Doritos. I can manage to buy them, and make them disappear. Perhaps, comment on the taste of said Doritos. But, I probably shouldn't be making any kind of decision about them.

From this point on, I am solely in control of the most expensive equipment on campus. Because, well... We're still on PCs.

I guess it isn't a bad thing. I may as well learn how to operate them, in a pinch, it would be useful.

People assume that the guy at the desk knows how to fix all the problems. Mostly because they also assume he is the one causing them. But, having to learn an entire system in 3 weeks (Remember, I have a show to design) and make it work well enough so that no one knows the difference, might be a little more than I was expecting to chew this winter.

I guess as long as it comes with a pay raise, I won't mind too much. Depending on the raise, I may LOVE running lights. Who knows? Other than the person putting the pay rate increase request in, obviously.

It's been a year?

That wasn't the pre-arranged title for this blog, but, seeing as how I haven't posted in literally a year and a day, it seemed appropriate.

Quick run down of whats happened in that year...

I turned 21
I got married to Amanda
I got a new job that I absolutely love, it's seriously been my dream job since I was 10.
I got a cat named Bones.
Bones has separation anxiety, so we got another cat named Toby.
I got a custom made overdrive pedal with my name printed on it. It's bitchin.


Beyond that, I remembered that there is only so much that I can post on fudgebook before someone notices that there is a liberal asshole on their church staff. I guess I should take the link to this off of there...

I've been doing pretty well with the new job, I love doing it, I get to make my own schedule, unlike that old crappy version of "making your own schedule" at the collections place.
Amanda and I both get a day off together, which is nice, considering how much she hates her job, and would rather be at home together watching movies.

My biggest dilemma at this new job, is the old/current Sunday morning "sound guy" you know the one that shows up some where and says "Don't worry, I got this, I run sound at my church"

(To make a note, the only reason I don't mix on Sunday, is because I play in the worship band, and any time that I walk behind the board while this guy is there I get shoved out of the way. Even though I was hired as the Audio/Recording studio engineer. I've got freaking business cards that say it!)

Fits the stereotype, almost to a t. His ears are about as useful at the board as a lighter at the bottom of the pool.
The guy uses headphones to mix the house, not to EQ individuals, actually to mix the house. Because in his words, "If it sounds good in bose headphones, it sounds good in the house"

WRONG

He's been running sound here for about a decade if I can remember correctly, I lost a few years in there somehow. It's sounded bad for exactly.........All of those years, however long it may be.
Recently to show my disapproval of this, along with his other mad church sound guy skillzzzzz, I threw a picture up on gaybook. Anyone else that I know that has stood behind, or even to the side of a desk went off. It's kind of annoying when you drop a couple grand on compressors, and they're not even being utilized, because the old audio consultant, the church used before they hired me, got them set up, "So they don't ever need to be adjusted again".

Right. Because people don't ever change the way they sing, and they've sounded the same for the last 10 years.
This on top of the tin ears, and the incredible lack of utilization of the crappy board that he told the church to buy has gotten me to the point where I've just started correcting all of his mistakes while he isn't there.

The general rule of thumb for the worship team at the church is, if you don't show up for practice, you don't play on Sunday morning, it seems logical. If you don't know what the hell is going on, you shouldn't be there to screw it up on game day. The same thing should apply to the FOH desk. I'm there, along with a volunteer, (who also gets shoved out of the way on Sunday mornings, unless the mighty sound warrior has somewhere else to be) and everything is mixed down to a point that we're both happy with. I even stopped zeroing everything out after, and would leave it set for the services, so all he had to do was flip the on switch and let it ride.
But, it seems that putting all the guitars in the VCA that says "GUITARS" on it, doesn't work for him, nor does the VCA that has the grand piano and both keyboards in it that is labeled "KEYS"
along with the last group labeled "LEAD VOX" which coincidentally contains the three worship leaders on Sunday mornings, not to be confused with the BGV's group or the Head Sets group.
I don't know if I could actually make it any easier. I do all the work during the week, run the practice, and it all gets blown up when it actually needs to be run the right way. We've even had people, like the senior pastor, who is almost 80 years old, come up and compliment the way that it sounded when the volunteer that I had to re-train, was running sound by himself on a Sunday morning. It's kind of funny that, that has happened every time this kid, or myself has run the board in the last 6 months, and hasn't happened for the 10 years prior.

But, alas. Every week I hear complaints along the lines of "It hasn't sounded this bad since I before I started running sound" or "I wish the person who screwed up the way I have this set up had to run sound for service"

In all reality, as stated by common consensus, and compliments from the stiffest people in the place, about how it finally sounds nice in here, along with other musicians noticing a huge difference, and me saying that I would run the desk on Sundays, if he would stay out of the way. I still find myself in a bind of how I am supposed to actually do my job effectively. I'm still searching.

As a closing note, remember that almost 80 year old Senior Pastor of the Church?, who is also a Bishop, within the denomination, the guy I'm talking about, is his son in law.

It's getting closer...

So, next week I'll be turning 21 which means I can finally buy my own liqour. So not a lot will be changing. But at least I don't have to hope there is something that I like will show up on my fridge, and for anyone reading into it, whiskey always manages to make its way to home, which I'm totally ok with. Other than that I haven't written in awhile and making a post on my phone is getting a little tiresome on my thumbs.

As I've been working a job in collections I've gotten to talk to a lot of, um, nifty people. People my age who can't find a job anywhere, old people who are on social security, or people who are just plain dumb. The economy is only an excuse for so long, you need to get off your ass and get a job. Please. I hate the fact that people can do whatever they want with someone elses money, and assume that they won't mind because it's a bank. At least the people working at the bank have a job. You can't blame them for doing their job, and holding people to the contracts they sign. Not my fault people don't read that fine print. I'll need to post some actual stories another time.

Another new fun fact: I just got in a car accident. Some schmuck going to the beach merged into traffic and proceeded to merge right into my car. Awesome. I don't believe that much else has changed, other than the wedding is only a few weeks away and were not doing so well with people returning rsvp's on time. But, it's not about other people I suppose. The karioke and heavy metal at the reception, along with the open bar will make up for it.

How is that miserable bastard?

Being totally honest, I hate reunions. I really do. Almost every reunion I've ever been to, I didn't want to be at. Usually, the people that you haven't seen in a long time, you haven't seen for a reason. I'm dreading my high school reunion because I hated almost everyone in my school, except the few that I still keep in touch with regularly. This last weekend, was a sort of bittersweet reunion. Don't even try to take that as some sappy loving load. Cause it's not. It was a pain in the ass.

Enter Friday afternoon, after lunch time. And no, I haven't eaten yet. I get out of work and drive clear across the city to meet up for a load in with the original Relevant Worship tech crew. As usual, this group of too many musicians has arrived and already proven themselves dead weight. Should be used to that now, hanging out, watching everyone else put together a sound system. Predictable to say the least. Anyways, this is the first time in almost a year that the original tech crew got back together. Jon, Kevin, Amanda and myself. I'll admit, I was useless until breakdown, because I honestly had no desire to be there, other than the post game activities that became attached to it.
The event itself was supposed to start at 6:30 pm. Doors opened around 7 if I remember correctly. Didn't get out til 11. Maybe it was the dirty hippie's sound guy, who managed to be useless other than whining and making a sound check take too long. Maybe it was the "Native" band who also spent more time on a sound check than actually playing their music. Maybe it was because of personal vendetta Indian guy, who went half an hour too long speaking about injustice, after his very plain set. Or maybe the guy who has a 10 minute slot that turned into an hour, or maybe the general disregard for any kind of time schedule.
After we wrapped the mess of weekend day 1 up, we spent the greater part of the midnight hours in my backyard, around a sad excuse for a fire pit. Mostly because the rich bastards in Williamsville outlawed fires taller than 3 feet, and the poor fires have to be contained in a manufactured pit. Not joking. So as we had finally all re-united, we tried to do something interesting, but the long day wouldn't have any of it. So about 3 in the morning, we all crashed at my house, only to be up a little after 6 (for Jon and Kevin) and 9 (for the girl and I)
Arriving at 10 A.M. we walked in to Relevant Worship, once again over playing for the situation. It was a big church, not a stadium, and, my God, you can tell they're all white musicians before you see them. As I grew quickly disinterested me and the oldest er, most distinguished, member of the group, made a walk over to the store for some batteries, and sustenance (Tops sushi, did not fit the second requirement. Be warned) I got a bit of the, you're taking too long talk. I'll just leave it at that, and more of the, wow, I can't wait til this is over talk. Anyways, since we ducked out, we figured it would be in poor taste to disrupt, whatever the hell was going on in there. So, we got to spend some actual time hanging out, not doing anything. Not worrying about the garbage that normally eats our minds on the weekends. I think about an hour later, Jon grew a conscience and returned to his post inside. Amanda and I went home to nap. I knew better than to assume this thing would be on schedule.

Surprise. It ended early. Cause that makes sense. Start it late, end it early. Usually someone would get a raise for that kind of positive use of time, and lowering of overhead cost. Too bad we didn't have overhead. Just a little more time to make good on the almost lost fun part of the weekend.

Once again, we all ended up at my house, the 4 of us. All together again. And, about an hour or so into that, I had worked a good dent into the bourbon, as well as the half a slaughter house worth of chicken drumsticks that we cooked up. Then we worked onto the cigars, and eventually, the coffee my mom made us at 2 in the morning to sober up. Jon and Kevin left, I managed to stumble upstairs, Amanda, well, I think she made it to sleep.
Really, with all the stupid stuff that's gone down with the people our 4 used to be involved with, it's nice to just relax. It took a long week, and a longer weekend to get there. But I almost think it was worth it to get a little down time together. Being back there again, re affirms that I'm glad I'm not involved anymore. I can only deal with so much hypocrisy on a regular basis. That'll be over on the other blog shortly. Sitting on the sidelines, and seeing people befuddled by themselves is quite the reward. I like seeing people make idiots of themselves. I'm just glad I got to see that happen with the old crew back together for the weekend.

Responsibility and musical equipment

I'll admit it. Most of the time I can be a pretty unreasonable person, but this time, I have a damn good reason to be pissed. Awhile back I was playing with a band called Relevant. Essentially I was a fill in, until they could find someone that they liked better. So the time came where the so called executive director's best friend moved back into town. Coincidentally, he owned a bass. So I was removed. 8 months or so later, here we are. At the time I had purchased a couple thousand dollars of equipment to use while I played for them. When I was systematically removed, I continued being a somewhat reasonable human being, and let them continue using my speaker cabinet, which I spent close to $1000 on. I was planning on retrieving it when I saw it next which would be in two weeks.
Enter yesterday morning.
I got a text from my friend who is a guitar player for the band letting me know that he found an identical match to a guitar that he used to have. I was excited, so a little while later, when I got out of work, I gave him a call. We talked about the guitar for a bit, then he asked me,

"So, um, did anyone tell you about your cabinet yet?"

"No Jer, what happened to my cabinet?"

"Um, when it was in the trailer Pete's drum stool fell through the front of it and went right through one of the speakers. No one told you about it?"

"..."

"Sorry man, it was like a month ago. I thought someone told you"

WTF

So, no, no one in a month had contacted me about the fact that they had wrecked my cabinet. Not the 'responsible' executive director, nor the lead singer who I see at least once a week, not my friend who is a tech for them, not my other friend who is a tech/guitar player, nor the guy who uses it, because it's better than what he has. Nope. Not one. The problem is, I have talked to all of these people since it's happened. The one who told me about it, I haven't talked to in a month. And the first contact I had with him, he told me. Thanks Jer, for not being a douche bag.

This is the kind of stuff that gives Christians a bad name. You'll go out to save the rest of the world, and do all kinds of stuff to get as much recognition as possible, but you're not capable of growing a pair and telling someone you fucked up. Just because you're a Christian, doesn't mean that you can get away with screwing people over, although, it seems that no one gets that part of co-existing with the other 7 billion people that live on the planet. I screw up on a regular basis. But hell, If I wreck something, I'll at least make an attempt to right the wrong. I'm pretty self centered, but I wouldn't stand a chance against these guys. I feel bad for the couple people involved with them that are responsible, and that do care. It seems that the nice guys were systematically removed. Our egos simply weren't as big. Another case of the mine is bigger than yours argument. You win. Your egos are WAY bigger than mine. Ok, I'm done ranting on that.

In closing, If anyone knows where the most expensive place to get this thing fixed is, give me a call. I'd love to have it fixed there. Haha, I can apply the same mentality they did, it's not my problem! I'm not paying for it. Maybe Ill have it encrusted with diamonds as well.

Time passed

So, I haven't written anything in over 3 months. Or something like that. Those past three months have come close to being some of the most interesting months for me in recent memory. All of my old posts were about my old stupid job, that subsequently took a huge toll on my life and most of the people around me. As of last month, I finally grew a pair and got a new job. So, instead of dealing with ornary annoying people at overnight hours, I deal with them over the phone durring the day, where they can't actually do anything about their threats of killing or injuring me. I now work in the wonderful world of collections. I still haven't decided which group makes me more sick. The drunks, or the people that don't understand that when you borrow money, you have to pay it back. I don't work normal collections, I work pre-legal. So if I call you and you don't come up with the money, people are going to come and take your car, your house, or any other assets that they can sell to get their money back. It's not a nice place to be. Trust me. But at least this job offers health insurance and I have an almost normal schedule. That I can live with for now. I know I won't be doing this forever, but for now, it's paying the bills and helping me get my head a little bit farther above water than it was before. Other than that, life has been looking all sorts of up. Since I was booted from Relevant, I have been offered a ton more opportunities to play music, and even have a say in what I'm playing, not used to that at all. It sure is nice though. That being said, now I can pick and choose when and where I can play and still have time to myself to do what I want. Like what I was able to do last weekend.
I've been meaning to talk with Amanda's mother for quite some time, and last weekend, we finally worked out a trip home. Friday we left mid-afternoon and drove to Utica. Amanda's mom lives out in the country, on the top of a hill, so we had a great view, and a whole weekend to just relax. No one bothering us, no one calling to see if we can arrange something, just a whole weekend of doing the same thing we do in Buffalo when we have time off. Sit around, eat junk food, watch movies, and usually sleep whole days away, but this time we were a couple hundred miles away. And that couple hundred miles makes all the difference. Finally, we got to go to church, and weren't expected to do anything. I almost didn't know how to deal with it, other than the fact that we're going to try and do it more often as long as our schedules allow for it. If they don't, we'll make them. I never had an idea of what it would be like to go out to stay with someones parent for a weekend. But, I liked it. Enough to go back for more. Best part is, it seems like mom approves, which makes me feel 100% better.
Honestly, this is the first time that everything is really starting to come together, the future is starting to look good, and I'm not anxious for it, but at the same time I'm not afraid of it. I'm excited to see what is going to happen, and more importantly, when it's going to happen. I've always waited for everything to fall apart, but now it's doing the opposite. And I couldn't be happier. Unless someone just gave me $50,000. Then at least I could pay everything off now. But oh well. Just gonna have to keep looking forward to it.

Interesting is an understatment

So, for the first time, in a long time, things started looking up. Everything at work was going really well, I haven't fired anyone in awhile, haven't been in a fight with customers in quite a long time. But, I'm only allowed to have a certain amount of peace in my life. I topped out and needed to be reset to zero apparently.

Enter Friday night.
It's a little busy at work, and I had someone call off already due to a tummy ache. Great excuse for a 23 year old. After that, someone else decided they were just coming in an hour late. Whatever. No big deal. Then he notices that he has new shoes on. I told him that he should change them, otherwise they'd get ruined. So he leaves. Punched him out of the register. And then 3 hours pass. I called someone else in, and we were fine on people for the rest of the night. 3:30 am the kid comes back. He's disoriented and trying to get my managers card so he can get change for the $50 he has. I was a little concerned and didn't want him touching the drawer. So I went up there and asked him for the 50. He didn't have it. He said he would get it from his car. Came back. No cash. Then he just asked for $20 straight out of the drawer. I told him that wasn't going to happen. Then he asked me for cash, and everyone else that was working. Still no. I walked away from him. Then he started following me around, "Yo, Anth, come for a ride with me. I'll go pick you up some bud or something. Just come for a ride man"

Wow. At that point, the fact that he was severely cracked out hit me. I knew, I just didn't want to believe it. So I threw him out of the store.

At the end of the night, when I counted all the money, we were short $100. I thought I did a deposit wrong, or something like that. Because that kid wasn't anywhere near the drawer. I didn't let him near it.

So I called the district guy, and let him know, that we should fire Rob, because he's coming in on crack again, and that $100 was probably in a deposit. Well he checked it, and the 100 was gone. So he told me he'd call back in awhile.

He watched the video of Rob punching in. He took my managers card and opened the drawer. Grabbed a $100 bill, then put it back, and took out 5 $20 bills. Sneaky bastard. So they said they were just going to take his check for reimbursement. Then, Shawn, my good boss also told me they were setting up a sting to arrest him. That didn't work, so they just sent a couple cops over to his house to arrest him. Pretty sure he's in jail now. And the owner is personally pressing charges and filing a restraining order against him.

Awesome.
I really don't know what else to say about this story. Kinda sucks cause I lost a good worker. Oh well. Guess that means people shouldn't do crack.

This is why I hate holidays...

Ok, so, I don't really hate the holidays. Not too much at least. But, for the most part, I've gotten more considerate and passive about my disdain for this oh so special time of the year.

I love shopping. For me. I don't like shopping for other people. I just don't. It's not spending money that bothers me. It's the fact that every year I seem to be followed around malls by crazy old ladies. Because, since this week I haven't slept more than 15 hours combined, I figured I may as well zombie walk through the malls looking for retarded things that only come around once a year. Why does anyone need a Santa Claus shot glass set? Oh, that's right. So they can get through the season totally smashed all the time. Kinda like that time in high school...

This is a story told second hand. I was actually not involved. I was at the other side of the parking lot smoking a bowl at the time this happened.

Step back 2 years.

Because, he could get away with it, my friends Steve and Mike decided they were going to be festive. Every morning before school for the month of December. All the way until Christmas.
How did they do this you ask?
A liquoralender. That's how. Remember those little calendars that every day you got a piece of chocolate, or a little toy or piece of candy in? Johnny Walker came out with one of those too.
A piece of chocolate filled with black or red depending on the day. Or perhaps it was just random. I'm not sure. But, really, one shot worth of booze? What's that going to do for anyone? So Steve also managed to keep a martini set in his car. 2 cups, and a shaker. Other paraphernalia also included... Christmas. At the high school level. Boozing at 7 in the morning. Because they could get away with it. Because it was still dark out. And we paid off a school employee. I would like to state that J.B. is still employed there. In case anyone cares to try that again.

That is a prime example, of how holidays should actually be handled.

I would also like to propose a new policy.

More than just the season itself, I hate the songs. I can not listen to Christmas music. I have the same argument with my mother every year about this. I get angry every time I hear Christmas music. This is not over reacting. At least for myself, this would keep the holidays moving faster. I would like to suggest that every time a Christmas song plays a shot of booze should be consumed. This DOES NOT apply to radio stations that only play Christmas music until New Years. I will not be responsible for alcohol poisoning again. If I'm out shopping, or walking around and happen to hear a carol, because I usually tune them out, I will write down on a tally sheet the respective number of said songs I hear in a day. Then, either before, or after work, (TBD) I will take the appropriate number of shots of whiskey. I will be taking a sign up for peoples commitments to the Holiday boozing campaign. Or hey, if you just wanna drink, and not count songs, that's cool too. Someone else has more songs racked up, that they shouldn't drink for.

So, since I've migrated far enough away from my original point on this post, as much as the holidays bother me. I believe I've found a way to cope. And this way is almost legal. It's about 8 months un-legal. Close enough for me.

You have cancer, surprise!

As I drove home from some store a couple nights ago, when I was actually having a decent day I saw an advertisement on the side of a bus that said; "You have prostate cancer. Go to Roswell Park."

Interesting. I didn't know that. I missed that memo. Hear that mom? I have prostate cancer. I'm just gonna skedaddle over to R.P. real quick, get that all checked out, yeah, I'll get milk on the way home too. Shouldn't be too bad, right? I mean its not like I wanted to keep it a secret or anything. What better way to freak the hell out of people than letting them stare at a big purple death bus at 4 in the morning. "Hi, good morning world! I'm a goofy purple bus, and I'm here to ruin your day, or maybe week, or maybe even your life!"

My personal issue with this is as follows;

Can you do that? Can you buy advertising telling people that they have a terminal illness and to go to where you rape dying people for money?

Yeah sure, clearly other stupid things like, you're going to hell, or Bush sucks can be plastered all over something. But what about terminal illness that could simply throw someone into a suicidal spiral. Then consider this scenario.

Said person sees bus. Looses their sanity. And then is committed to a mental institution because they are utterly convinced that they have cancer. And they have to get to Roswell Park. Could that person sue Roswell Park for all of the medical bills they acquired whilst being "insane" and also collect mental and emotional damages?

If, that is possible in any capacity, like $500 or more in payments, I would like everyone to know that I will be shortly declared insane. I'll be staying at the "happy house" for a few months. Then, I'll be filthy rich. And no. I see absolutely no moral problem with this at all. Stealing money from the health care tycoons is not a legal issue. Not in my eyes. And I'm insane. Remember?

I hate...

So tonight being as slow as it was, I had some time to nitpick customers again. And, once again, it came down to the same two groups of people. One is the group of people that I would like to diagnose with "Fatitude" and the second, are people that missed the memo of what race they are. Each will be have a new one ripped separately.

Fatitude.
Thank you Tom Rafferty for the creation, or at least bringing of my attention to this word. People with fatitude aren't always necessarily fat. It's a mental condition. The fact that this hookerish looking woman, with at least a quarter inch of makeup on got pissed at me because I was out of taco meat, and she had to be charged for extra cheese is out of my control I suppose. Listen, being fat is a job. A constant up keep of your own fat ass. If you want to stay fat, you have to make some adjustments. That extra cheese costing you a whopping Thirty Five cents isn't all that bad. It's a small price to keep that pants size rising you PMSing fat slob. And secondly, food takes time to cook believe it or not. Just because you're used to throwing slop in the microwave and bathing in it, which would explain the quarter pound of makeup, doesn't mean that I can do the same thing. You're paying me to make you a heart attack, remember? Third, the only person allowed to bitch about anything in my store, is me. And chances are I'm probably bitching about how you should go to a gym because you seriously, do not need to be eating something that would kill a small animal or child, at 4:30 in the morning. Go eat a salad. The economy is bad. And you're still getting charged the same price for all that extra fabric that you need to cover your fat ass. At least you're wearing clothes. If you weren't I would have to close the place down, not because you're not wearing clothes, but because the whole place would be covered in the explosive vomit that I would be spewing everywhere.
Simply disgusting.

Group #2 the "I don't know what race I am" assholes.

Apparently the fact that you grew up in a privileged home, with disposable income means nothing to you. Your parents gave you money, and you spent it turning yourself into what would seem to be a "gangster". Minus the fact that you're suburban average white Joe. I would like to state that this is in no way racist. But I would like to point out a few major demographic and socioeconomic points to prove that, and give a better view on this to anyone who may not know where I'm coming from. Buffalo has the highest black male un-employment percentage in the United States, or at least this is what recent social graphs have shown. 51%. 51% of Black males in the city of Buffalo, NY are currently un-employed. I do what I can. If you aren't a moron I'll hire you. I don't really care who you are. Based upon that fact, people that do not work, do not usually live in the nicest parts of town. They live where it is cheep, and that they can afford on whatever income they do have. Regardless of race, orientation, ethnicity or social background. Hell, there are more white people in the Tonawanda projects than any other race. Back to the point. People in the city, specifically the group that I have mentioned statistics about, dress a certain way. Rap and Hip hop have always been dominated by the black culture. And, just like every other movement and musical progression, white people have tried to steal it. Face it. People in the city have a right to make music about being shot at, arrested, killing people and whatever other crap may have come up. This once again, is directly connected to socioeconomic status. NOT RACE. If the music that is based upon your culture, wears and dresses a certain way, the way to fit in, and not get yourself killed, is to do the same thing. It's not a social separation, but it is. It's not a bad thing, but when you start forgetting that you did not go through the things that people in different circumstances have, and you're trying to steal their culture, there is a problem. I would absolutely love to take a carload of these race jumpers downtown. Not the nice part. The part where my father told me to be out of by sunset. No questions. Sunset, you're gone. I don't care if you're on a church trip. Because the people down there sure as hell don't. That's what I was told. By my father. Who used to live down there. On that street. Unfortunately, I know that I would last longer in that kind of neighborhood, than all of the kids who think they're the shit because they have a G-Unit shirt on. Listen dumb ass, you're going to get mugged for that shirt because everyone down there knows you're not going to be able to do anything about it. If nothing else, an odd looking white kid wearing a black dress coat, with leather gloves, and who isn't trying to be something he's not, has a much better chance to make it out in one piece than you. Dumb ass.

On top of that which ran through my mind in about 5 seconds when this group of douchetards came in, the black guy that works with me started laughing at them And, essentially reiterated what I was already thinking. Yep, white suburban kids, can't deal with the fact that they're white. Must be a shame. Or a compensation issue. Chances are it's number two. Kind of like that line in Shrek, when Shrek and donkey walk up to the castle. Shrek simply says, "Do you think he's compensating for something?"

Yes Shrek. Yes I do. Clearly, there is some kind of issue. Of which, I feel no need to discuss here in depth. Cause, hey, if you're intelligent enough to know what I mean when I use "big words" like socioeconomic status, then, you're ahead of this moronic curve anyways.

Stupid race jumpers. They're so useless. Hopefully that jump is over a very deep hole, or pit, or well, or cliff, or traintracks or something that would make it a much better jump. For me at least. Last but not least, they drove a camero. They half assed the car too? At least get a Cadillac or some goofy SUV that you know you can't afford to put gas in anyways. Allowance isn't that much, I suppose.

Hell. That's been a long time coming. Feels nice to get all that out.

I'm doing this meme because I disregarded the other one.

Line 5, page 56 of: Sir Elton

"in Soho and now had a virtual monopoly of white blues and soul acts, from Georgie Fame and Alan Price to Chris Farlowe and P.J. Probe. As well as the flamingo, they ran the Bag o' Nails

There you go Jon

Tamed? Really?

So today I was rather abruptly informed that I have been tamed. I fought it, I tried to find ways around it. Nothing. Its kind of nerve racking. I mean, I can't even legally buy my own booze. It's clearly not to say that I haven't, I mean my friends dad owns a liquor store. So, you know. And the fact that I know most of the people that own the bars, and work at them doesn't help one bit. I suppose the fact that I should've died by the time most kids were buying lottery tickets and porn for the first time is a bit of a side story. But that's not the point here.

This is the point. I'm ok with that. I really don't have a problem with it. I've had my adventures, I've had my ridiculous nights. I've done stuff that people only hear in the worst cases at a free clinic at a hospital in a bad neighborhood on the east side. I think it's about time that I chill out a little bit. Or just all the way. Maybe not all the way yet. I'm still 20. As much as I thought I wanted to fight it, I really didn't. It's just one more thing that's happening at the right time. It's not even one of those epic stories, like a wild horse being put in captivity. It's more like, that horse has been relocated. Not held captive, but given a chance at something new and better. That other side of the land, that he wanted to see if he could get to, he's gotten to. And he likes it. More importantly, he's not going back.

There's a couple things I plan on hanging on to. Right now I'm endulging in some lovely Prog Metal and Industrial music. That isn't going to change, as long as I can help it. But the nights of me waking up and having no idea how I got home, and whos shoes I'm wearing, have gone kaputz. And it's alright. Even though I've always been mistaken for being older, now it's time to actually put that into action. I'm growing up. And I'm not doing it alone. Which makes it so much better.

Funny enough to poke you over...

It's kind of a shocker, when you end up doing something, or being in some kind of situation that you promised yourself, and others, and maybe even put money on it, that it would never happen. Or happen again.

HAHAHA. Got you.

A few months ago, my friend Mike, one of the 10 or 12 Mike's that I know left the place that I work at . Here's the back story; I got hired, I got him hires months later, I changed location, got fired twice, quit three times, he quit twice. We both came back and he somehow ends up being my boss. Anyways, we have a request off book. His last effort when he left a few months ago and moved away was to write in the book at the beginning of September, "Anth if you still work here now, KILL YOURSELF!!!!!"

Haha. It seems I haven't done that yet, and not to mention, he called me this week to see if he could get his job back. He starts this weekend.

It seems that sometimes not listening to certain people like Mike here works out for the best.

Otherwise I would be dead and that would upset a few people.

The main point here though, is that I win. 3 out of the 4 times Mike and I have worked together I've been in charge. Mostly this is just to say that I was right. And I usually am right. So the next time someone tells me to kill myself, just think about how it could suck for you in the future.

This entry is rather pointless, but since it just happened 5 minutes before post time, and I had nothing else, it needed to work.

New Blog. Over there--->

I have another one. Because I do. And it may be more bitchy than this one. So go ahead. Go over to that side bar and give it a shot. Just in case no one found it on their own.

Oh shit. Catch that train

I'm the reason for a board meeting. Yeah. Take that other important issues and things involving, well more important things. I've been the cause of board meetings at church and stuff like that before. Thanks mom. For calling and having me put on a prayer list that gets distributed to dozens of countries and hundreds of pastors all around the world. At least I didn't end up in rehab. But talking to the district manager, and goofing around with him, he mentioned that "Oh yeah, that position you wanted. I'm having a meeting with the fat bastard about that this week."

Oh damn. My promotion (which I hope it is) is being talked about between all of the bosses that love me, and the guy I called an asshole the first time I met him. That's right. I'm damn smooth.

This meeting could actually hold my future in it. Long term future. The job that I get, wouldn't just be a job, it would actually be a career. Not to mention, telling people I work at a sub shack and pull down more than they do in revenue, would be nice for a change. I mean, sub shack. It's amusing. My whole life may have just decided that it was ready to take off and start going somewhere, in about a week. Maybe a little more. But mostly the week. I have this really bad counting my eggs before they hatch type thing going on, but honestly, everything just needed to wait and hit at the right time, to make up for all the bad stuff that usually hits at the same time. And usually more often. The patience that I've been trying to exhibit for the last couple years is finally paying off. In a few different ways. God's gotten me out of places I wasn't supposed to be in, bad relationships, bad jobs, bad situations. Even though they didn't seem bad at the time. There's something to be said about having the patience to wait through all of that. It's a bitch. Waiting, and almost growing apathetic towards everything started to take its toll. Then SHAZAM.
Slap me in the face with a pile of, um, something nice. Not bloody steak or a baseball bat, or brass knuckles, or a chain, or broken bottle, or whatever else you may have when you're drunk and sounds like a good idea. I would've said flowers, but, that would make me sound more gay than I already do. (Explaining why I have clear coat nail polish in my work locker was difficult)

Honestly, the only thing that I really need right now, is prayer. That the fat man signs off on this spot, and that everything else falls into the place allotted for it before the world was born. It's got a good start in case you were wondering. Just a wrap it all up Jesus prayer and hopefully, all will be right in the world of Anthony.

A new month

So, I pulled another one of those retarded shifts. Closing Saturday til 5 in the morning, then playing at church at 10, then not sleeping all day, except for that omen of 10 minutes that I was given. Then went and closed again. Retarded I know.

Not only being physically exhausted, I'm mentally drained as well. Before this weekend, I would take and physically throw customers out if they were too drunk or loud. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting old, which is probably a good thing, lost my drive to beat the hell out of people, or am just exhausted of this job. So I just decided to call the cops from the office and have all the drunks taken away.

It's been about two and a half years or so now. On and off. I was fired twice, quit 3 times and apparently am one of the owners favorites. That's fantastic. My hours still blow.
So tomorrow is right about when I go in to work with an agenda. Usually that's not me.

Work is work, but after this long, and still making way less than people that have been there less than half the time, and can only do about 1/8th of what I can, it's time to start being a bitch about it.

New developments may have caused me to grow a pair. Not just a normal one, but one of steel. Tomorrow, I go in, tell them I want off nights, or I'm out. I don't really care where they put me, I've already been everywhere. I just want a normal sleep pattern, so that I can use my time the way I want to. I've got shit to do. And new stuff keeping me busy.

The only real issue is that I have absolutely no fallback. That's a problem. If there was somewhere I know I would be hired at the same rate, just doing something different, I would wage a salary war between the places. Just to see what I could get. So, I think that's what I need. A new opportunity, on the employment front. The economy is awful, so the only place that I can for sure get a job, is a place comprable to the current life sucking hell hole.

Perhaps there is a second issue. I like my job. I really do. There are just certain parts, like working til 6 in the morning and then trying to live a normal life. It doesn't work. That's why the fat bastard they put in charge doesn't work weekends, holidays, or nights. I assume I have more out of work activities though. And, I'm about 20 times more productive.

Conclusion: I get that tub of lards job, get more done, and get a little more money than he gets. Ill be happy. I mean, with how enormous this dude is, he's not going to be around long anyways.
Those twinkies are going to get you. One way or another.

dunkinbeatstarbucks

You may have seen the advertisements on TV, or just in your local Dunkin' Donuts location. In a national survey Dunkin Donuts coffee beat Starbucks. Awesome. Congratulations. Too bad it really doesn't mean anything. There is only one reason that Starbucks exists. And it isn't good coffee, cause they don't have that.

Starbucks exists because people are assholes.

People don't go to Starbucks to get coffee. They go because it makes them feel important. Spending $5 on a glorified milkshake that they put soy juice in (no way do beans get milked) upon your request, don't forget no whip. That'll make you fat. Why? So that you sound important when you go to get your caffeine addiction in the morning or whatever time of the day you may feel you need it. Go and chug a Mountain Dew, and accomplish the same thing. But it has been dubbed neccesary to go and drink coffee all day long, because "important" people do it. Drinking that coffee and acting like a stuck up rich bastard or bitch, when you aren't even paying for, your own coffee, your parents are, aint' doing shit for you. Why not go make your self important. Cause the damn coffee isn't going to.

But no, if you go to this place at different times of the day you'll see the certain types of assholes that make this place an example of how people can not cope with normality. They can't deal with having to go to a gas station and get caught dead with "Coffee that's been sitting there for God knows how long". They want to be important. And, maybe if their boss, or someone they're interested in sees them in there it will boost their opinion of said wannabe coffee connoisseur. And chances are if it does help their opinion of that person, the viewing party is also, quite the douche bag.

I used to do that. I would go and take people to Starbucks. It makes them feel important. And usually it was convenient because they're littering the nation like a couple of happy rabbits. And the coffee was super hot, so it stayed warm forever with that fancy environmentally friendly 60% post consumer waste hot sleeve, and the damn green hole plugs.

I drink a lot of coffee. And guess what. It all does the same thing. I usually run on 5 cups a day. Mostly from Dunkin' Donuts. Why? because it is right across the street from my work. And they haven't charged me for coffee in the last 3 months. If there were a Starbucks across the street, and they gave it to me for free, I would get it from there. Caffeine is caffeine. The fact that this was put up as a national survey made me realize why our country has no money. WE SPEND IT ON THIS BULLSHIT!

Why not buy people food and clean water with the probably millions of dollars you spent sending a lady around with a clipboard with 2 check boxes and color printing on that page. No doubt, millions of dollars were just spent to say a more media friendly version of "nananana boo boo, mine is better than yours!" What the hell. If I had the proverbial check that was written to do this project, I would never have to work again. Nor would my children. Coffee has become so big of a pop culture item, that advertisment firms creamed themselves when they thought up this one, in their conference rooms that they usually only hold circle-jerk conventions in. Well, the only thing I have left to say, is that I feel really bad for the dude that has to clean that soggy and sticky conference room with his gas station coffee. He could've been someone important in that room. If only he drank important people coffee. Too bad. He missed out on all that could've been. Only because he knows that it really doesn't mean 2 shits which coffee everyone else drinks. His gas station shit, goes better with the whiskey he has in it anyways.

But why is all the Whiskey gone?

So for the last half an hour, I've been trying to figure out what the hell my computer is trying to install on itself. Beats me. I spent another 15 minutes trying to figure out what programs were running in the background. No idea with that either. It's getting time to wipe this thing again...

More to the point now. Today is one of those days that you tell everyone was the worst day in the world, but when you sit and think about it for a second, it really wasn't that bad. I worked at the Delaware location. People get mugged, shot at and held up on a regular basis. Not too bad. The night dragged on forever, 5 am couldn't come fast enough. It was going well, until ten to, when 10 people walked in the door, and wrecked my almost finished night. Pushing my getting out time to 515 instead of just 5. 15 minutes means a lot when you have to drive to meet someone at a specific time, and when you get there, they aren't there. So that means, I just drove 20 minutes, to turn around and go 30 minutes the other way. After all of that, and some other meaningless garbage throughout the night, I started thinking. And that damn Rolling Stones song came on in my car on my hour long expedition to no where. The only difference to the song "You can't always get what you want" that I would change is the catch line. And it would be changed to "Ha ha, you're actually almost never going to get what you want. If you ever do I'll be surprised."

It doesn't flow as well though.

I talked with the sister earlier, whom I owe a box of oatmeal cream pies to, about having a good things do happen party. When I get to 10 on the nifty tally sheet I started, we have a party. She finished me off mentally by saying, "If you get lucky we may even have 2 parties in 1 year!"

You have a gift for phrasing Amanda.

So now we get to the meat and potatoes of the matter.

It's been a long night. I haven't gotten the job I was sorta-kinda-in a whim-given. And won't be any time soon. Honestly, who lets a 20 year old run a damn store? I mean, they do a lot of drugs, but apparently not that many. Girl factor, terribly despicable is a good starting point. And, I'm not even playing music anywhere this week. So that means, I have open time slots, when I'll probably do something that isn't that productive. Like sleep for 20 hours in one day. And oh yeah, my aunt didn't die. She was kind of, let go. Columbia University sent up a team to, gather parts. Yeah, organ harvesting. Sounds like something right out of Alien. I know. So that's the most serious thing I have to deal with. But, after an hour long drive, from Allentown to North Tonawanda, there was nothing left for me to do but have a drink.

THE DAMN WHISKEY IS GONE!

And I wouldn't mind picking up some more, but, I'm 20, and I don't live in Louisiana so I can't buy it, and I've been clean for a few months now. And I'm trying to keep it that way.

So alcohol, has become my new re-kindled relationship. Oh how I love whiskey. Since I have zero state of mind enhancers I'm working on hour 28 of being awake. Drinking tea, and listening to the Beck song - "Where it's at" on repeat, because it makes me feel a little more chill and cool in a room with dim lights and the sun coming up in the background, when I know I'm really not that cool. But chill is something I have way down.

What set that off, it the fact that Jim, the owner of my company, the guy who's name is on the shirts, hats, signs, commercials, yeah, that Jim, called me today. He asked how everything was going, and after I went through a little bit of that, he told me to go and get myself a drink. Oh how I tried Jim. Better luck next time. And Amanda, today counts as a negative tally mark.

Normal Wednesday...

Until I found out that my aunt was in the hospital, with a massive brain hemorrhage and had little to no response to anything but a deep tissue pain test. Whatever the hell that is. I'm assuming its the doctors sticking a very large needle in you and seeing what happens.

Back story:
My aunt and uncle moved here a couple years ago from Arizona because they wanted to get away from the place that their daughter was killed. Yes. Killed. Hit by a drunk driver, thrown into a telephone pole and broke her spine in half. She died instantly. By the way, this was their only child.
So, they moved here, and rather quickly became my new favorite aunt and uncle. Because they're crazy, and, well, apparently, that's how I like them...

Anyways. My aunt has had a fair amount of health problems for her age (I believe she's around 50, probably a little less) and has to make occasional trips to the doctors. Well, yesterday, she was found un-responsive in her home. Was rushed to the hospital and has been there since. I didn't hear about this til tonight at work, the massive brain hemorrhage part. And more importantly, the, it's not looking good/probably not going to make it part. That's when everything hit. Or did it.

When I was little death never really phased me. It's sad, people get upset, but honestly, what are you going to do about it. I've found out what happens is that it will hit me later. I didn't realize that my grandmother had died til almost a year later, when something that I don't remember triggered it.

This is the issue. I've never had to stare death in the face. I found out after the death had occurred. I never had to deal with it just being around waiting in the shadows. So I guess that's what makes this a little different. Knowing that it's inevitable. But, just working that time issue out.

This is one of those times that you really can't hope for the best, because the best is not an option. So now, my whole family sits and waits. We won't be doing that for too long. Tomorrow, they just start pulling machines on a half hour to hour basis until one of two things happens. She kicks it, or it kicks her. How fun.

What a great start to a weekend.