dunkinbeatstarbucks

You may have seen the advertisements on TV, or just in your local Dunkin' Donuts location. In a national survey Dunkin Donuts coffee beat Starbucks. Awesome. Congratulations. Too bad it really doesn't mean anything. There is only one reason that Starbucks exists. And it isn't good coffee, cause they don't have that.

Starbucks exists because people are assholes.

People don't go to Starbucks to get coffee. They go because it makes them feel important. Spending $5 on a glorified milkshake that they put soy juice in (no way do beans get milked) upon your request, don't forget no whip. That'll make you fat. Why? So that you sound important when you go to get your caffeine addiction in the morning or whatever time of the day you may feel you need it. Go and chug a Mountain Dew, and accomplish the same thing. But it has been dubbed neccesary to go and drink coffee all day long, because "important" people do it. Drinking that coffee and acting like a stuck up rich bastard or bitch, when you aren't even paying for, your own coffee, your parents are, aint' doing shit for you. Why not go make your self important. Cause the damn coffee isn't going to.

But no, if you go to this place at different times of the day you'll see the certain types of assholes that make this place an example of how people can not cope with normality. They can't deal with having to go to a gas station and get caught dead with "Coffee that's been sitting there for God knows how long". They want to be important. And, maybe if their boss, or someone they're interested in sees them in there it will boost their opinion of said wannabe coffee connoisseur. And chances are if it does help their opinion of that person, the viewing party is also, quite the douche bag.

I used to do that. I would go and take people to Starbucks. It makes them feel important. And usually it was convenient because they're littering the nation like a couple of happy rabbits. And the coffee was super hot, so it stayed warm forever with that fancy environmentally friendly 60% post consumer waste hot sleeve, and the damn green hole plugs.

I drink a lot of coffee. And guess what. It all does the same thing. I usually run on 5 cups a day. Mostly from Dunkin' Donuts. Why? because it is right across the street from my work. And they haven't charged me for coffee in the last 3 months. If there were a Starbucks across the street, and they gave it to me for free, I would get it from there. Caffeine is caffeine. The fact that this was put up as a national survey made me realize why our country has no money. WE SPEND IT ON THIS BULLSHIT!

Why not buy people food and clean water with the probably millions of dollars you spent sending a lady around with a clipboard with 2 check boxes and color printing on that page. No doubt, millions of dollars were just spent to say a more media friendly version of "nananana boo boo, mine is better than yours!" What the hell. If I had the proverbial check that was written to do this project, I would never have to work again. Nor would my children. Coffee has become so big of a pop culture item, that advertisment firms creamed themselves when they thought up this one, in their conference rooms that they usually only hold circle-jerk conventions in. Well, the only thing I have left to say, is that I feel really bad for the dude that has to clean that soggy and sticky conference room with his gas station coffee. He could've been someone important in that room. If only he drank important people coffee. Too bad. He missed out on all that could've been. Only because he knows that it really doesn't mean 2 shits which coffee everyone else drinks. His gas station shit, goes better with the whiskey he has in it anyways.