This is why I hate holidays...

Ok, so, I don't really hate the holidays. Not too much at least. But, for the most part, I've gotten more considerate and passive about my disdain for this oh so special time of the year.

I love shopping. For me. I don't like shopping for other people. I just don't. It's not spending money that bothers me. It's the fact that every year I seem to be followed around malls by crazy old ladies. Because, since this week I haven't slept more than 15 hours combined, I figured I may as well zombie walk through the malls looking for retarded things that only come around once a year. Why does anyone need a Santa Claus shot glass set? Oh, that's right. So they can get through the season totally smashed all the time. Kinda like that time in high school...

This is a story told second hand. I was actually not involved. I was at the other side of the parking lot smoking a bowl at the time this happened.

Step back 2 years.

Because, he could get away with it, my friends Steve and Mike decided they were going to be festive. Every morning before school for the month of December. All the way until Christmas.
How did they do this you ask?
A liquoralender. That's how. Remember those little calendars that every day you got a piece of chocolate, or a little toy or piece of candy in? Johnny Walker came out with one of those too.
A piece of chocolate filled with black or red depending on the day. Or perhaps it was just random. I'm not sure. But, really, one shot worth of booze? What's that going to do for anyone? So Steve also managed to keep a martini set in his car. 2 cups, and a shaker. Other paraphernalia also included... Christmas. At the high school level. Boozing at 7 in the morning. Because they could get away with it. Because it was still dark out. And we paid off a school employee. I would like to state that J.B. is still employed there. In case anyone cares to try that again.

That is a prime example, of how holidays should actually be handled.

I would also like to propose a new policy.

More than just the season itself, I hate the songs. I can not listen to Christmas music. I have the same argument with my mother every year about this. I get angry every time I hear Christmas music. This is not over reacting. At least for myself, this would keep the holidays moving faster. I would like to suggest that every time a Christmas song plays a shot of booze should be consumed. This DOES NOT apply to radio stations that only play Christmas music until New Years. I will not be responsible for alcohol poisoning again. If I'm out shopping, or walking around and happen to hear a carol, because I usually tune them out, I will write down on a tally sheet the respective number of said songs I hear in a day. Then, either before, or after work, (TBD) I will take the appropriate number of shots of whiskey. I will be taking a sign up for peoples commitments to the Holiday boozing campaign. Or hey, if you just wanna drink, and not count songs, that's cool too. Someone else has more songs racked up, that they shouldn't drink for.

So, since I've migrated far enough away from my original point on this post, as much as the holidays bother me. I believe I've found a way to cope. And this way is almost legal. It's about 8 months un-legal. Close enough for me.