Finally 20

So I managed to hit halfway. Thats right, I'm 20 now. And I'm considering that a halfway point. With everything that I've put in myself, 40 my be time for my body to just throw out a big "better luck next time!" and call it quits.

I've worked almost everyday this summer, cancelled two or three vacations, stopped playing music for the most part, even though I keep buying more gear, had little to no life and still, have nothing to show for it.

Finally getting out of the teenage years is nice, now at least I don't get clummped in with the teenage population, that I loathe as a whole. They're annoying, bitchy and think that they're so bad ass. I tried to start a fight with six of them at one time and they all took off. I didn't really care if I got my ass kicked, it was 6 guys, so at least would have made for a good story in the long run.

Point is, regardless of everything that I think I've accomplished in 20 years, really doesn't mean crap. I've wasted a score of years and, hell, all I have is a decent car, and a little less skin on my teeth than the next guy.

It's gotten to re-evaluation time, because, that's what needs to happen.

New job, new schedule, new people to win over and influence to better myself. No I don't have any shame.

What it comes down to now, is that I'm 20 years old, have a crappy job, with crappy hours that runs my life, and I can't make up my mind. You'd think by the age of 20 that pair of decision making cojones would've dropped by now. But you'd be wrong. I'll still approach things that I know aren't right, time and time again. Just like an alzheimers patient. Only to be releaved by some super miracle that puts me right back on track.

Come on super miracle. I put in an order two years ago. Your customer service guys are slacking.