Here I stand, 6 feet small.

So about all these different bands that I've been listening to, (take the Mayer lyrics as you want) It seems that even though music has become rather disappointing as a whole over the last few years, there are still a few bands that have something decent to say, that'll make you think just a little bit more than you normally would. At least they've done that for me. So Joey, Mike, Kelly, Steve, Jeffy, thanks for this next one.

All of the above mentioned names, as a bunch of guys with a band named The Reign of Kindo, indie jazz, not what you'd expect from the most depressed town in the world, but, it works. So even though their CD came out a couple months ago, and I've heard the whole process for the last year, it's still sticking with me, this line. " I live in a castle no one can come near. And every wall was layed with bricks of mortar and tear."

And that's it. I think I figured it out. My reason for just being everything I am.

I've set myself so far away from everything that I should be doing, by putting myself in that castle, made out of pain, and going through hard times. That's the mortar for the morons out there. Here's the kicker line in that song though. "With every word you speak my walls crumble in."

There's still that one thing for everyone. It makes you want to start again. I'm going above religion here by the way. I've done a pretty damn good job building myself that castle too, thank you very much. But, there's still those couple people around. Those people that with a single word, know that I'll do anything for them. Just those couple words, from those couple people, can either make me get up from a pit I thought was inescapable, or just put me right back down in it.

I don't have a problem trusting people, as much as giving everything I have, only to return with nothing. The roller coaster that I live just keeps going, and those few words, from those few people give me just a little bit of smooth ride every once in awhile, or, make me wonder when my cart is flying off the tracks.

So here I am 20 years old. And still going, because, honestly, I am scared as hell. I have no idea what is coming anymore. And hearing over and over "Everything happens for a reason" and "It will get better" just don't cut it anymore. I'm requiring just a tad bit more now, cause, everything else has just gotten stale.